Further than the stars

One time, he reached down from the stars
and placed a piece of stardust in my hair.
It sparkled and shined throughout the night
I jumped and twirled in astonishment at the sparkling life.
But when morning came,
His gift is gone.

Now, each night I wonder if another gift awaits me.
And as each morning progresses into the day,
I compulsively check my hair for any remnants.

My stomach curls and twists in anxiety.
Will it be today?
Maybe I have to wait for the night?

I want that stardust, but its beyond my grasp now.
Was it some fantasy I worked up?
A dream felt too real?

My emotions are real. I feel them everyday.
And I’m left alone with them, each night.
without that bit of stardust to keep my head afloat the dark skies,
My eyes get lost looking amongst the stars and galaxies beyond my life.

A voice swells inside me, “You are the light, you are the star.”


Preparing for a Fairy Photo Shoot

I didn’t realize how much work goes into preparation for fairy photo shoot. Moreso, how much stuff you can keep adding to one’s costume and set list before you decide, enough is enough! This past Sunday, the models and the makeup artists came over my place and tested designs and costumes. It was pretty successful! Here are some photos from that test run that I snapped in my house.

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In addition to the girls providing their own costumes (or parts of it), other people helped with making wings, arm cuffs, styling wigs and other lighting accessories. Tonight, I hope to make my own Diffuser for the sunlight (that I can use in other outdoor shoots too).

We’ll be having the full fairy photo shoot this Saturday in the scorching heat (makeup and costumes will be put on in the nice A/C though) so here is to hoping for a successful shoot!


Always looking forward

I like to think that I am always looking forward and backwards to decide on the present. Like crossing a street, you look to the left then look to the right, asses the situation and then either cross the street or wait.

Guess, I am waiting now.

Waiting for a job that I enjoy and won’t watch the clock tick away my time wasted. Waiting for a “life of excitement” that challenges my core.

Create create create, joy joy joy. These are the words that echo through my head. Create in life what lies in your mind, enjoy the present. Looking forward, I am to finish college in 2013, if I’m lucky. Looking Backwards, I’ve been in college since 2004. Almost ten years (part time mind you) and a better understanding of where I want to be still leave me looking forward. I don’t want to leave this world without leaving my mark. Yet again, I am looking forward. How can I enjoy the present if all I do is wait for the future happiness to arrive? It seems a paradox is in my mind. A magical world of possibilities inside me that I resist and deny. Do I “wait out” the two more years? Move forward ahead of schedule? Sometimes, choices to make me happy will make others unhappy. In that knowledge, I neglect myself and do what society deems is appropriate.

Thanks society, but I’d rather live in happiness against you then in delusional contentment with you.


Sitting is killing you

Sitting is Killing You
Via: Medical Billing And Coding

I’ve been trying to get my boss to realize sitting all day is bad for us.


Spring Cleaning

pink elephant shoes

Goodbye sweet animal

I love you pink Elephant shoes, but you do not fit my feet and I’ve held onto you for over two years. Why? What am I holding onto? Let go….Let go….This goes beyond my collection of shoes that do not fit my feet. In my heart there is an Everything Must Go! vibe. It makes way for new parts of my life to begin….and new shoes!


Forgiveness for yourself

I’m not perfect. Who wants to be perfect? There are all sorts of pressure and stress applied to you when you strive for perfection. When we fail, we learn. We keep learning. Day in, day out, I’ve learned something new, something forgotten, something….abstract.

Something I have had trouble with most of my life, and I’m sure many other feel the same, is forgiving myself. Catholics have a way of absolving their sin, right? They go to confession and the Father forgives them. It’s so easy for someone else to say we are forgiven, why not then, tell ourselves this same message? I forgive you; I forgive myself. Don’t forget about this important act. Forgiveness can dissolve your negative thoughts, bring about a brighter outlook in life, and most important, bring peace of mind to the sinner.

When there is a deed or phrase spoken that I feel guilty about, it takes some time for me to realize how much I’m beating myself up on the inside. I’m calling myself names: pathetic, liar, loser, whore, trash, idiot, scum. I’m associating one act with a character trait that I usually don’t posses in my daily life. My thoughts start to focus around these negative thoughts, and regardless of others input, I keep my nose buried to the ground and refuse to let go of these condescending ideas about myself. It takes some quiet time and stillness within my mind to really evaluate my actions and personality. Forgiveness is the first step to understanding why I make certain decisions or to help me move on from a traumatic event in my life.

I hope others find forgiveness in themselves as well. Whatever your method may be, I feel it is very important to forgive yourself to create a mind and soul at peace and balance with the world.

Side Note: I’d really like to travel to India some day soon and speak to a Yogi over there about traditional yoga. :)


So Much To Give

After hearing about the earthquake / Tsunami in Japan (and tidal waves headed for California), I’ve been reading all sorts of stories about people in need. I thought I was in need when my knee accident happened. That was nothing compared to what others have lost. I don’t want a natural disaster to remind me that there are always others worse off than me. I’m thankful for all the love, friends, family and gifts I have. My goal? To find a way to help out my community. One person, event, helping hand–at a time.

Peace to all.


To Do List

My to-do list is ever growing. I’m always making these lists in my head, on paper, at work, on the computer, etc. And the problem I face, is combining all these multiple lists into one master list. How to do (hehe) this? Organizing my thoughts has always been a hard process for me. Everything comes rushing to the forefront at once. I have trouble distinguishing between the important ideas and just silly ideas. Usually this moment of information overload leads me thinking down fantasy lane with multimedia project ideas and visions.

So, if anyone has any suggestions or would like to share hey they manage their “To-Do” list(s), please share.


Tron

http://www.jenallenart.com/movies/tron.html


Triangle & Square

I created an animation about a nervous triangle and angry square interacting.

http://www.jenallenart.com/movies/trianglesquare.html


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