RSS Feed

A short reflection of my past

Posted on

Just a snippet I wanted to share:

I was always a “tomboy” throughout most of my life. During my youth, my time was spent exploring the nearby woods and parks of my hometown. As I got older, my playtime consisted of wrestling with boys in an attempt to dominate them in something they felt confident about: physical strength. It was my way to prove myself of value. At that time, I valued physical strength. This would usually amount to me getting pinned and teased, a prelude to my stubborn pride. However, If they were unlucky to tickle me, I would wildly thrash about and throw them off of me in a fit of rage induced strength. I will admit, it was a fun game at the time. Sometimes I did win, but not for long. Their strength soon outmatched mine as we grew older. Then, of course, at the time of adolescence when natural urges start to emerge, my wrestling with boys was mistaken for flirtation, so I restrained that part of my desire to play until I reached an older age. Until then, I tried to play the same way with my female friends but they would stop within the first minute and give up. I was disappointed. Disappointed in being  female. At that time of being a teenager, I wanted to be a boy. There was even a story told to me about how the doctors thought I was going to be a boy based on my heartbeat and the sonogram images. Surprising the hospital staff and my parents with my entrance into the world as a little baby girl. Maybe that subconsciously played on my development? That maybe, I had somehow taken away from my father a chance to have a son to do father and son activities with.  Either way, while growing up, I thought men were stronger than women in everything they did. Even so, I wanted to show that I was just as strong or stronger than my male counterpart. I wanted to be carefree and not worry about things “normal girls” would worry about such as looking nice for others, getting manicures, shopping, going on dates, talking about relationships and other things that seemed so utterly boring at that time. Instead, I would run around with the neighborhood boys, play video games, draw.

I met my best friend during that time, a girl that lived on the next street to my house. She wasn’t the typical girl that would talk about nails and hair with me, though she was more aware of those things. We would play video games, go on adventures together, join a softball team together and meet other girls like us. We were strong. I felt strong. My faith was renewed in womanhood and soon, she convinced me to try on a skirt and wear it to school for the first time. My previous rejection to what it meant to be a woman was met with this sudden flood of emotion. I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted things other women wanted. My sister and I at that time were going through growing pains of being close in age but different in mindset. Little by little these ideas of dressing up and being feminine snuck into my head. By then, in my twenties, I started looking into romantic relationships with men as my “next step” in life. To start a family and raise children. The younger version of myself swore that she would never marry or have kids. There had been a change in me. I wanted those things, along with my playful playing in mud activities of expression. The thoughts began to manifest in my early twenties of settling down and having children. Life never goes as planned.  I went from relationship to relationship telling myself these were things I did not want but still I thought about them from time to time.

To keep things short, this is a reflection of what I thought about women and myself while growing and learning. I thought I was weak so I had to make myself stronger. I did just that over my life thus far. The first step to solving a problem is admitting that there is indeed, a problem. In this case I wanted to change something internally about myself.

I am weak.

chain-297842_640

 

Once you realize something you don’t like about yourself, you try really hard to fix it. Improve. Improve. Improve. That’s what humans do, right? We make things better. I was rebuilding myself into the person I wanted to be, not the byproduct of my environment or dismal thoughts of the past. Yoga played a crucial role. It was the turning point for me. That is why it’s also my passion to teach, share, laugh, and learn with others about yoga, meditation, and the clarity that accompanies a sharp mind (with ample rest and physical activity too!).

 

Starting out with acro yoga

Posted on

I just started getting into acro yoga with one of my training partners for fighting. This is what we’ve done so far. This was our third time practicing the routine. Still tons to improve on.

 

wall flow 1

Thanks for reading!

Personal yoga challenge 2014: Post #1

Posted on

Earlier in February of this year,  I posted an open invitation to anyone willing to help challenge me and keep me on my toes with posting more about my yoga practice. I want to share with others my love and knowledge (I’m always learning! ) of yoga and also to hear from others about their favorite poses in yoga. So here is my first post on the project.

Pose #1: Downward Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

image

A friend and also current private online client of mine,  Lewis suggested downward facing dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana) for my first pose. Another friend of mine took the picture for me at one of the gyms I teach Yoga (a bjj place called wrightson). This posture is one of my favorite full body lengthening and awareness of the asanas. If I am practicing and need a moment to re-center myself,  this is my go to pose.

Getting into the posture:
Starting in a forward fold,  place the palms down outside your feet.
Step or jump both feet to the back of your mat.
With the toes curled under,  push your hips into the sky.
Head between the arms as your gaze is either between the legs towards the back or up towards your navel.
Tilt the pelvis towards the ceiling to help straighten the back.
Keep hands shoulder width distance and feet hips width distance.
Feet parallel.
Eventually get heels to ground.

Variation:
If your wrist are hurting you, go into dolphin instead by placing forearms down on ground,  interlacing hands.
Use a chair for your hands if you can’t go all the way down.

Okay post number1 of #jenyogachallenge is complete!  Follow me on instagram and Facebook or subscribe to kiokatt.com for more yoga inspired writings and pictures.

Namaste!

My Open Invitation: Personal Yoga Challenge for 2014

Posted on

Starting Today, I’ve initiated a personal yoga challenge extended to the online coDancermmunity.  You, yes YOU the reader, can leave the name of a yoga pose in the comment section (or post on my facebook page)  you would like to see me do! I will attempt the pose and take a picture of me doing such.  I will post at least one picture a day (as long as I have comments). Obviously there are some poses (advanced) I will not be able to do right now but I will still take my attempted pictures of said pose. On a side note I will keep all the poses on a running list of what I have done / not done for this project to track its progress.  I don’t care if I get multiple requests for the same pose, at that point I’ll get creative with how to take the picture.  I’m going to run this challenge for the remaining of the 2014 year. So let’s get this started!

 

Pictures will be posted on instagram, facebook and jenallenyoga.com.

 

After this is done I’ll make a compilation of the challenge along with my thoughts and post it online as well.

 

Namaste!

Winter Time Workings

Posted on

Lion created in flash by Jen Allen

Simhasana never looked so cute.

The body may want to slow down during the colder season while the mind continues to go full throttle.  You may be finishing up the semester at school, preparing for the holidays or maybe getting ready for a weather storm. Release a bit of your stress during this time with giving space and time to yourself.  It’s okay to relax, regroup your ideas, and recharge your energy.  One way I like to relax is by doing yoga with friends.  It becomes more of a community event of tuning out the stressors in life and focusing on what’s important, you. What do YOU want from life? How do YOU want to read the book about yourself.  However, while focusing on yourself during the practice, afterwards you rejoin with your friends and new ideas, goals, revelations may come through! This is also a great time for reflection of the past year as it nears an end during December.  If yoga isn’t your bag, just a simple slow breathing exercise will help you calm down.  

 

Here is a breathing exercise  I like to do: (I like doing this while laying on my back or sitting comfortably)

Breathe in slow while counting: 1…2…3
Hold while counting: 1…2…3
Breathe out slow while counting: 1…2…3
Hold while counting: 1…2…3

Rinse, Repeat until you can start increasing your count to a higher number, please try to stay within the single digits if this is your first breathing exercise or feel light headed.  Listen to your body. Listen to your mind. Let your heart speak, and listen well.

 

What are some ways you like to de-stress during the winter / holiday season?

Introduction to Ashtanga Yoga Five Week Session~

Posted on

I’ll be teaching an introduction to Ashtanga Yoga five week session if anyone is interested!

 

You can register here.

It’s okay to keep your heart open.

Posted on

It’s okay to talk to that stranger you see passing you by.

It’s okay to laugh at yourself when you fall.

It’s okay to love someone else and expect nothing in return.

It’s okay for the love of your life to be right now.

It’s okay to smile, to laugh, to cry, to anger.

It’s okay to be whatever you want and do what you want for your heart’s desire.

It’s okay to lose someone.

It’s okay to be frustrated of where you are in life, or think about where you want to be.

It’s okay to change your life for the better.

It’s okay to not worry about others, they can take care of themselves.

Keep your heart open and everything will be okay.

Image

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 444 other followers

%d bloggers like this: