This was a little animation I made in photoshop in early 2010. Enjoy the magic!
Author Archives: Kiokatt
About Kiokatt
Waiting for the Bell
I’m just waiting for the bell to ring
5 o’clock brings ring-a-ding-a-ling
I’m just waiting for the bell to ring
Then I’m free for anything
All my life, I’ve heard the bell
Pavlov’s dog is closer still
Here I sit waiting for that sound
Just one ring and I can get around
I’m just waiting for the ball to ring
5 o’clock brings ring-a-ding-a-ling
All my life I’ve been waiting so patiently
For that final bell to ring.
Round and Round we go
The games we played when we were young. What did they teach you? Patience and hard work pay off? What have I done?
I’m running in circles, around and around, inside my mind, inside my house. I’m running in circles, losing my breath, wheezing from my insides. They’re hurting. They’re hurting all over. When do I stop running? When I’m dead and gone? I’ll still be running, through traces of blips in others’ lives, through media and work left undone. I’ll still be running. I’m not still. I’m not running. Circles. Circles. Like one big life.
A Poem from my Teenage Years
I’ve been sharing older poems but I promise to share something I’ve written that’s more recent in the coming days (or maybe hours if I find the one I’m looking for to post here). Anyways, here is one I wrote when I was a teenager living at home with my mom and sister (I believe she was in Florida with my father at the time of me writing this). Let me just preface this poem by saying, I love my mother and she means the world to me. This is how I felt then, and feelings are always a-changing!
\ Mommy dearest, am I the girl you wanted me to be?
I think you’re a beggar, but you think you’re a queen.
Following in the footsteps that walked before me-
I’m going down the same path and I’m not even fighting.
\ It’s happening, roll out the carpet turn off the lights.
Put away that cutting board, don’t touch the spatula.
Cooking with grease is fun until you get burned.
\ Jenny don’t do this, Jenny don’t say that,
Jenny don’t hate your sister, and Jenny just look at that fat!
You’re disgusting, repulsive, not even my child.
I’d say: “I love you! I love you! I’m not that wild!”
\ Jenny I’m the adult, you got to listen to me.
Jenny I’m the one perfect and you’re the disease.
\ Jenny you better take math class–and science too.
Jenny take out the trash and when you’re done, the dishes too.
Hey Jenny did I mention that I’d never clean this house?
That’s right Jenny, you heard me, I’m down with hypocrisy!
\ Yeaaah Jenny, I’m gonna make you scream.
Yeaaah Jenny then you’ll wish I was really being mean.
AAAAHHH!!
A Picture for Today
Here is some photography I did recently of my sister preparing for her run:
Like this:
Spring Cleaning is Necessary
Yesterday, I had family and friends over to help me tidy up the yard and prepare for the vegetable garden that is going to be in my backyard this year. Ryan (my boyfriend) had the cleaning bug too as he “Jesus cleaned” (his terminology) the kitchen, bathroom and living room (well the living room is still disorganized but clean nonetheless!) as I was outside tending to the backyard with others, clearing debris, weeding, raking, and taking inventory of what gardening supplies I had and needed. It gave me such fulfillment to have completed all those tasks and still have time to sit down and relax with Ryan.
The previous day, him and I had spent the better half of it organizing and cleaning my art room. It was there i found details from an OLD (6+ years) commissioned painting that I never completed. It must’ve fired a spark in me because it prompted me to work on a commissioned piece for my work that they I took on almost two years ago. (though very vague in detail I tried my best)
I’m trying to make it a habit to get my commissioned pieces out quicker, but then the double edge sword comes, with less time spent on a piece, or the feeling of being rushed, I feel like I don’t complete the artwork to the best and most natural of my ability. Finding balance between being a perfectionist and saying “HEY! The piece is subjective/unique/my version/blah blah blah etc..” is sometimes hard to do.
So for now, more cleaning will prompt an easier workflow (as I already noticed this past weekend).
hmmm, maybe being a neat freak isn’t so bad an idea after all for this usual procrastinator?
Poem from 2005
Dec, 2005 Poem:
This girl I know, she pretends to be a beast.
Prey on the innocent; she hopes to feast (what a silly rhyme)
But her wait won’t let her sway that awful way,
So her claws retract and wings slowly appear.
She’s the angel that everyone talked about.
They said she’d come down when he needed her.
But her spirit is fighting to be freed.
This life is difficult when you feel alone.
Don’t take for granted the luck that you have with love.
I see her dig into your skin, you cry in pain and she smiles so easily.
You cry out loud, your voice bouncing off the walls as she breaks the skin once more.
You’re panting and heaving, unable to move as the light fills up the room.
Then tears come rolling down her cheeks and she’s the saint that you sought after.
All these years of waiting for her to come to your aide.
Who would of thought that it was she who would cause that pain?
Who would of been able to better help you, than she?
She told me later, after I left –not wanting to watch.
That she bandaged your wounds and kissed your forehead.
You started pouring out your hearts contents.
Into her hands she made sure that nothing spilled.
Until the last breathe, it was then you felt relieved.
And watched her swallow everything with ease.
Your instinct is to stay but finally she makes you leave.
You’re better off than before and wonder what happened in your heart.
It’s changed to something better, nothing you thought it could have been before.
You look back and see only that silky fuchsia ribbon on the ground.
She’s off again, letting the tears fill up her heart.
Will this never stop; must I always watch this part?
She cries again as the wings finally disappear,
Left on this Earth and in the cycle of discontent.
Her soul is bound to only one.
And in the end, she’ll see…
Like this:
A Steampunk Circus Story
A new photo series I started working on, with a bunch of talented people to help, is a steampunk circus story. Its a narrative about this steampunk themed circus that is turned upside down by a manhunt for their fugitive. Tricks and twists ensue as the police duo try to claim their rightful prisoner. Here is an image of one of the characters:
The Twisted Clown
More to come as this story (har har) develops.
Like this:
Further than the stars
One time, he reached down from the stars
and placed a piece of stardust in my hair.
It sparkled and shined throughout the night
I jumped and twirled in astonishment at the sparkling life.
But when morning came,
His gift is gone.
Now, each night I wonder if another gift awaits me.
And as each morning progresses into the day,
I compulsively check my hair for any remnants.
My stomach curls and twists in anxiety.
Will it be today?
Maybe I have to wait for the night?
I want that stardust, but its beyond my grasp now.
Was it some fantasy I worked up?
A dream felt too real?
My emotions are real. I feel them everyday.
And I’m left alone with them, each night.
without that bit of stardust to keep my head afloat the dark skies,
My eyes get lost looking amongst the stars and galaxies beyond my life.
A voice swells inside me, “You are the light, you are the star.”
Like this:
Preparing for a Fairy Photo Shoot
I didn’t realize how much work goes into preparation for fairy photo shoot. Moreso, how much stuff you can keep adding to one’s costume and set list before you decide, enough is enough! This past Sunday, the models and the makeup artists came over my place and tested designs and costumes. It was pretty successful! Here are some photos from that test run that I snapped in my house.
In addition to the girls providing their own costumes (or parts of it), other people helped with making wings, arm cuffs, styling wigs and other lighting accessories. Tonight, I hope to make my own Diffuser for the sunlight (that I can use in other outdoor shoots too).
We’ll be having the full fairy photo shoot this Saturday in the scorching heat (makeup and costumes will be put on in the nice A/C though) so here is to hoping for a successful shoot!
