I like to think that I am always looking forward and backwards to decide on the present. Like crossing a street, you look to the left then look to the right, asses the situation and then either cross the street or wait.

Guess, I am waiting now.

Waiting for a job that I enjoy and won’t watch the clock tick away my time wasted. Waiting for a “life of excitement” that challenges my core.

Create create create, joy joy joy. These are the words that echo through my head. Create in life what lies in your mind, enjoy the present. Looking forward, I am to finish college in 2013, if I’m lucky. Looking Backwards, I’ve been in college since 2004. Almost ten years (part time mind you) and a better understanding of where I want to be still leave me looking forward. I don’t want to leave this world without leaving my mark. Yet again, I am looking forward. How can I enjoy the present if all I do is wait for the future happiness to arrive? It seems a paradox is in my mind. A magical world of possibilities inside me that I resist and deny. Do I “wait out” the two more years? Move forward ahead of schedule? Sometimes, choices to make me happy will make others unhappy. In that knowledge, I neglect myself and do what society deems is appropriate.

Thanks society, but I’d rather live in happiness against you then in delusional contentment with you.